I don't like this heart anymore

urk.. Lots of moodswings today,
Probably of being a bit sick and confused.

venting.

I am.. Really mad at my self.
I already knew i had trustissues, and that really never was a true problem, but now that i might maybe like someone for real,
it is tearing me completely apart.
fuck. I don't like this feeling, deep in my gut, that this will end badly.
AMG. HEARTLESS, FLIRTADDICT CURING FOUND LOVE? END OF THE WORLD MUST BE NEAR. yeah i know.
Teasing in clubs and what not is superfun, but now that it might be serious i can't shake this stupid feeling off.
He is too kind, too handsome. but he hadn't had any kind of relation for 3 years. It feels like there must be something wrong... and he's coming over next week ;n;
It's a 4 hour trip at least for him, so i am pretty damn sure he is expecting something.
And i am not sure i can give him that..
Am really really lost on what to do now,
..i am scared. And i fucking hate it.

Anyone some advise, or similar condition?
Maybe some idea's how to solve this goddamn feeling? ;n;